At work recently, we had new business cards printed. As a developer with few in-person interactions with current or potential customers, I’ve given out all of maybe five business cards, ever, in my career. But the company’s sending the development team to RailsConf, and the boss wants us to be able to hand a card to prospective job seekers, etc.

We don’t have actual formal titles — I usually go with a generic “software developer” when I have to give one — but business cards seem like they should somehow indicate one’s role. It wasn’t long before some of the brainstorming for this turned silly, and then, as occasionally happens, I had a short-term obsession with thinking up clever (more or less) titles.

Here’s the resultant list, in no order whatsoever, which I hereby release to the public domain, as if anybody else in the public domain would give a damn. Some are pop-culture references, some are unpop-culture references, some are just random ideas of my own.

  • ‘); DROP TABLE Contacts; —
  • Misanthrope
  • sudoer
  • Onceler in Chief
  • Ringwinner, Luckwearer, Barrel-rider
  • Señor Developer
  • Asshole
  • Spelchecker
  • Assistant to Ms. Paltrow
  • God of the Harvest
  • Unicode Expert�
  • ���������
  • Scapegoat
  • Curmudgeon
  • Captain of Industry
  • Lieutenant of Industry
  • Vice Officer
  • Assistant to the General Manager
  • Corporate Espionage
  • Clockwatcher
  • // TODO set title
  • implements Developer
  • Replicant
  • Lazy Developer
  • Earthman
  • Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council
  • King of the Britons
  • Iterator
  • Not Sure
  • Cleaner
  • Grandmaster
  • Pawn
  • Perfectonist
  • Patient Zero

For this batch of cards, I went with the first one, the xkcd reference.